Sex during pregnancy

Unless you have been told by your maternity care provider not to have sex, it's fine to have sex at any stage during pregnancy if you and your partner want to.

The hormones released during intimacy can also:

• lower stress
• boost energy
• help you and your partner connect with your baby

Having sex does not harm your baby. Your uterus (womb) is deep inside your pelvis, protected by strong muscles. A thick mucus plug inside your cervix protects your baby from germs and infection.

In some situations, your midwife or doctor may advise you not to have sex until after your baby is born.

There is a risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) (Opens in new tab) with new, current or casual partners, so it is best to use a condom or dental dam. It’s a good idea to get regular STI tests and keep a lookout for symptoms. You will be offered an STI test at your initial pregnancy appointment and again at each trimester.

During your first trimester, physical intimacy and sex may be the furthest thing from your mind. It's common to have tiredness and nausea, and these can interfere with your desire for sex. You may also find that breast tenderness reduces your desire for physical contact that involves your breasts or nipples.

During the second trimester of pregnancy, you might experience an increase in your sex drive. You might feel less tired or nauseated. Hormone changes and extra blood flow to the genitals can make sex more enjoyable.

It's also OK if your desire for sex stays low or decreases in the second trimester.

In the final months of your pregnancy, you might notice a drop in your desire for sex. You might feel tired or stressed about giving birth. You may also find it more difficult to find a comfortable sexual position due to your growing belly. It is perfectly OK if you don't feel like having sex at this time, but if you do, it isn't dangerous or harmful to your baby.

You should speak to your doctor if you have any of the following symptoms after any sexual activity:

• severe cramps
• bleeding
• unusual discharge
• sharp pain
• fever

During the final weeks of pregnancy, having sex can help get your body ready for labour by releasing hormones such as oxytocin (Opens in new tab) and prostaglandins. These hormones can help soften the cervix and start contractions.

There's no evidence that having sex will bring on premature labour in a healthy low-risk pregnancy. There is some evidence that having sex induces labour if your baby is overdue. Some people have sex to try and bring on labour.

Speak with your maternity care provider about what's right for you. As a general guide, avoid having sex in the following situations if:

• you are at risk of premature labour or have symptoms of a possible miscarriage
• you have a weak cervix, or you've needed to have a cervical suture (stitch) placed to keep your cervix closed
• you have severe cramps or abdominal pain
• you've been told by your maternity care provider that you have placenta praevia or a low-lying placenta
• you have vaginal discharge that looks or smells different
• your waters may have broken

Your doctor might tell you not to have sex if you've had vaginal bleeding, even if the bleeding has stopped. Sometimes, bleeding after sex is not something to be worried about. For example, if you have a condition called cervical ectropion, where the cells on the cervix surface change and bleed more easily, like after sex. This condition does not affect the pregnancy, but you should tell your health team if you notice bleeding after sex.

If you've been advised not to have sex during your pregnancy and this is contributing to your feelings of stress, speak with your maternity care provider. Counselling options are available and are often very beneficial.

You shouldn't have sex if you don't want to. Sex should only happen when you and your partner both agree to have sex.

As your belly grows, you might need to try different sexual positions that are more comfortable.

During pregnancy, you should avoid lying or sleeping flat on your back, especially from 28 weeks of pregnancy until your baby is born. This can put pressure on major blood vessels that supply your baby with oxygen.

Some positions to try include:

• lying on your side — pillows or cushions can help with support
• positioning yourself on your hands and knees
• you on top

Your baby is protected by the amniotic fluid that surrounds them. Your uterus, where your baby grows, is deep inside your pelvis and protected by strong muscles.

During an orgasm, you might feel your baby move. This doesn't mean the baby is uncomfortable or knows what's happening.

If you have any doubts, concerns or questions about having sex during pregnancy, speak with your maternity care provider.

There are many ways to experience love and intimacy with your partner. It's important that you communicate your feelings, especially if you are experiencing changes to your desire for sexual activity during pregnancy.

It is normal for couples to feel disconnected or anxious during pregnancy. Talk with your partner about how you feel and about other ways to help you both to feel wanted and secure.

It is important to remember that there are also non-sexual ways you can feel close and intimate with your partner, such as:

• kissing
• hugging
• cuddling
• massages
• holding hands

The best person to speak to is your maternity care provider, such as your doctor or midwife. They will be able to give you the information and advice you need.

For counselling or support on your relationship, including on sex during pregnancy, call or visit:

• Relationships Australia (Opens in new tab) for information to support you to maintain respectful relationships on 1300 364 277.
• Family Relationship Advice Line (Opens in new tab) for advice over the phone for families affected by relationship or separation issues on 1800 050 321.
• 1800RESPECT (Opens in new tab) (1800 737 732) is the national domestic, family and sexual violence counselling, information and support service.